No awkward lesbian experiences without me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Randomize
