I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
