So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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