dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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