Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
