So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
