I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
