so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he high fived his dick after we had sex
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
