We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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