They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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