apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
