just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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