doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
