Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
