i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
