So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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