dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
