there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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