i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
