ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
