theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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