Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
