He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
