So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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