I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
