Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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