You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
