there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
