I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
