Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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