Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The best revenge is premature balding
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
