She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
