One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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