His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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