ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
