You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
