i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
