ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
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