using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
