remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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