There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
