I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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