ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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