Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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