You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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