Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
