why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He felt like a one man threesome
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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