dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My vagina just clenched in fear
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
