i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
