I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
