We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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